Updates Wednesdays

Comic 214 - Only A Straight Line Will Do

Posted on Wednesday, the 17th of August at 12:00 AM, 2016 in 2016

Author Notes:

DanVzare Wed, 17. Aug 12:00 AM, 2016 edit delete
I've made this comic to prove a point to someone on DeviantArt named Moonsaber56. You see, he doesn't seem to realize that it's the serious games that make the best comics, while the funny games are almost impossible to make comics for.
The reason for this is simple. You can't make a joke, when every possible joke has already been made within the subject matter of the joke at hand!
Or to put it more simply. You can't make a joke about a joke.
Serious games though, are perfect for making fun of. Because their serious content, usually makes the illogical gameplay parts, stick out like sore thumbs.
Basically, funny games are telling you to accept these weird things with the whole suspension of disbelief thing.
While serious games are instead saying "Weird things? What weird things? That isn't weird?", while in fact, it is very weird.
Horror games are usually the biggest culprit.

Now for my review on this rather boring game.
I have seen Darkest Dungeon recommend a lot, especially for it's realistic portrayal of how crazy adventurers would undoubtedly get when faced with such horrors.
In short though, the game is immensely boring.

The main reason the game is so boring, is because of the overly complicated but incredibly limited combat system.
The combat is similar to Pokemon. You take turns, and you have four attacks. But here's where things take a turn for the worse. You can only use certain attacks during certain circumstances due to certain attacks only being able to attack certain spaces your enemies are on. This means that usually you're only allowed to choose between two or three of your attacks at any one time. Thus giving you less choice in strategy than even Pokemon!

Oh but it gets worse. Then there're corpses that get left behind by enemies when they're killed. Which you can either waste an attack on to get rid off. Or be forced to use one of your other attacks to attack the foe behind, thus limiting your choices even more.
The corpse thing makes no sense anyway. This game is trying to be serious and realistic, and you're seriously telling me that in a realistic and serious situation, you would hack a corpse to bits in the middle of a fight?

And don't get me started on the tone of the game. There's this narrator throughout the game, constantly groaning about how dark and depressing everything is. Yet here I am, not finding any of these things dark and depressing.
It's like having an angsty teenager sit next to you while you're playing, while they just drone on and on about the meaninglessness of life. It's really quite annoying.

Now as for the game's main attraction. The quirk system. You see this game's gimmick that it (and everyone else) sells it on, is a little system where after a mission or even during, your characters can develop quirks. Then can become kleptomaniacs or claustrophobic. In short, this system is so uninteresting, I completely ignored it. It sounds good on paper, but in practice, it's just a bunch of debuffs which occasionally get applied to your characters. It DEFINITELY does not make up the majority of the gameplay. It's a small part of the game, and I feel as though everyone who has ever recommended the game, was under some weird notion that this mechanic was capable of carrying the whole game.
It isn't, and it's boring.

One last thing. While making this comic, I learnt something. That the corpse mechanic was added in an update, and that at the time of its implementation, people didn't like it. Naturally other people were saying "you simply don't like change", but since I never played the game without the corpse mechanic, I can tell you that is is indeed a dumb mechanic. It makes a terrible combat system worse.

Maybe I should find a way to play an earlier version of the game. If people were recommending the game back before all of those updates, and the developers made the combat system worse with that update. Perhaps the first version was better.
I mean, it wouldn't be the first time that a good game was ruined by developers trying to introduce "balance" to their game.